~Four Things About The God Kind Of Love~By: Vijay Martis

Hi,

Praise God,

Sharing with you all an article written by a fellow brother in Christ, Vijay Martis (Mumbai)

Be Blessed

YSIC,

Julia

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Four Things About The God Kind Of Love

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- Vijay Martis

“And You saw me when You took a crown of thorns
And Your blood washed over me.
And You loved me through the nails that You bore
And Your blood washes over me.”

- Hillsong ‘You saw me’

From the look on his face I could see that he was hurting. Badly. As we sat there and talked, I learnt his faith was not in question; he still adored His Saviour, having already been through the fires of persecution when he became a Christian.

And it also wasn’t about the job he just lost. A new job he could always get. It was about something a whole lot deeper. It was about living the Christian life the Lord has commanded us to live in Matthew 5-7. Authentically and from the inside out.

We talked some more. I spoke about letting go, but he honestly felt love was a mountain he couldn’t scale just right now. I knew that wasn’t true, because the Lord would never ask us to do something we couldn’t do (1 John 5:3, Phil 4:13). It’s only tough when we try to do it in our own strength. 

Still I admired his honesty. And knew that if he could keep himself open to God, he’d find his way back into the light (1 John 2:10).  For the love is there (2 Tim. 1:7), it’s already been poured out into our spirits  (Rom. 5:5), and will manifest itself as we renew our minds (Rom. 12:2), deny the self  (Luke 9:23) and walk in the Spirit (Gal. 5:25)

Which is what the rest of the article is all about – the practical, effective, everyday outworking of this Love in our lives. For we’ve all heard enough sermons pounded from pulpits on the need to love, which in the absence of a clear ‘how-to-go-about-it’ is about as helpful as being asked to lift a 300 pound Gorilla! C. S. Lewis got it right when he said, "Everyone says forgiveness is a wonderful idea until they have something to forgive". 

But first let’s take a look at what ‘Agape’ the God kind of love really is. There are plenty of definitions but I prefer it the way Joseph F. Manning puts it. You’d find this towards the end of his delightful book, ‘The Miracle of Agape Love.’ He begins with describing human ways of loving such as:

“I love you because you love me.” – conditional love

“I love you because I want you to love me.” – barter love

“I love you now because you once showed me love.” – law of return love

“I love you because you are attractive.” – physical love

“I love you because you agree with me.” – social love

“I love you because it’s the religious thing to do.” – moral obligation love

as against…

“I love you (I really experience a giving, selfless love) because God has placed within me His wonderful love for you.” – Agape or the God Kind of Love. I’ll add here that it’s the very nature of God  (1 John 4:16), the same love that Jesus has (John 13:34) and is a fruit of our recreated human spirits (2 Cor. 5:17, Gal. 6:22) . Enough said, here are four insights on how to make this Agape love more real in our lives.

1. Agape Only Begins Where We End

Picture a corpse in a coffin. Does it have thoughts of its own? Any feelings? Any desires? None whatsoever.  It’s only when we get to that place in our spiritual walk, with our thoughts, our emotions, our desire to get even, our idea of the outcome completely CRUCIFIED (Gal. 2:20) , that Agape flows and God can work in that situation.

This is not suppression or driving those feelings inside (they only eat you up, cause depression, or an even bigger explosion) or expressing your anger to the other person  (this only creates more pain and darkness and confusion) because we’re not acting in the wisdom, the timing or the love of the Spirit. It’s simply getting in your prayer closet and waiting on the Lord until He gives you the answer.

Almost as a real-life preparation for this article, I got into a huge argument. What started as a phone call, turned into a discussion, turned into a major theological debate that completely polarized my friend & I. So I took his permission for some time off, and after spending over 15 hours praying in the Spirit  (Jude 20-21) whilst listening to praise & worship on my earphones over three and a half days, I was finally able to break through.

During those terrible hours with wave upon wave of anger, and thoughts of hopelessness & giving up crowding in on me, I held on in my own personal Gethsamene. In the end satan lost, Agape flowed, healing flowed, the situation returned back to normal, with the friendship stronger than before. I’ve been into a lot of stuff  - New Age, Transactional Analysis, the Self Esteem Movement, A Course in Miracles – but nothing, nothing, nothing can bring that complete and lasting healing to our hearts like the love of Jesus within us does.

2. Agape Celebrates Our Differences

                Anyone who knows my twin Sanjay & I knows we’re both very different. Sanjay is friendly, social, a born leader. He loves meeting family and friends, loves to travel, and can manage people and complex projects very easily.

 Me, I’m the creative type, need a lot of personal space, and love losing myself in the Word and prayer. While I do spend a lot of time ministering and praying with folks, my ideal weekend is two days locked in with the Lord and His Word with the phone off and no contact with the outside world!

It’s these differences in all of us that makes life interesting. As long as we flow with them and not try and make others in our image. The Greeks identified four basic temperaments : 1. Sanguine - optimistic, cheerful, popular and fun-loving  2.Choleric - ambitious, persuasive, independent,and dynamic 3. Melancholic – introspective, sentimental, self-conscious & intuitive 4. Phlegmatic – adaptable, peaceful, reliable & easy-going

Each type has peculiar strengths and weaknesses. Just accepting and working with these differences makes relationships easier to live with and understand. It also ends a lifetime of frustration, of dealing with our own ‘hang-ups’. Now we boast in our weaknesses (2 Cor. 12:9), for the power of God is at work within us (Eph 3:20) to transform these weaknesses into strengths for His Glory (2 Cor. 3:18)

It would pay anyone to study up on this. Tim La Haye’s got some excellent books on the Spirit-Controlled Temperament. You could also reach for ‘Personality Plus’ by Florence Littauer.

               

3. Agape Agrees With The Counsel Of The Word And The Spirit

In ‘The Tipping Point’ sociologist Malcolm Gladwell discussed Dunbar’s number or how an individual can have meaningful, genuine relationships with a maximum of 150 people. Beyond that number, it’s gets difficult. We find ourselves stretched, burdened, irritated and burnt out; unable to give quality time to ourselves or the ones closest to us.

Which is why the Bible has much to say on who we let into our inner circle. Yes, while it does talk about a love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things (1 Cor.13:7), it also talks about a love that is discerning. In fact, in Rev 2:18-22, we find the Lord Jesus Himself strongly cautioning Christians in Thyatira to keep away from a certain individual.

To not heed such advice is to invite trouble and even face the judgment of God (ver. 22). A closer study of the Word reveals a lot more of the same advice. In writing to Titus, Paul informs him to reject a divisive person after a first and a second admonition (Titus 3:10), while to the Corinthians he even goes so far as to command them not to keep company or even eat with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner. (1 Cor. 5:11)

So clearly discernment is involved, for as Christians, we will encounter the carnal (1 Cor. 3:3),  spiritually immature (Heb. 5:12), unteachable (2 Tim 3:7), foolish (Rom 2:20), boastful (2 Cor. 11:18) , immoral (1 Cor. 5:1) the legalists  (Gal. 3:1-2) , fake (2 Cor.11:26), unstable (Eph 4:14), control freaks like Diotrephes (3 John 9, 2 Cor. 11:20), gossips & busybodies (1 Tim. 5:13), lovers of money (2 Tim. 3:2), cultists (2 John 9-10), the rebellious like Hymenaeus & Philetus (2 Tim.2:17),  false teachers (2 Pet. 2:1), deceitful workers (2 Cor. 11:13) and  the ones who preach the Word with impure motives (Phil. 1:15-16).

To not put the Word into practice, is to drain yourself physically and emotionally, and even to despair of ever finding true Christian friends. I know it because I’ve been there, and want to let you know that if you’re feeling condemned about not giving your time to everyone who asks for it, check with the Holy Spirit (1 John 2:27) if He really wants you to spend time with that particular person. You just might be surprised with what He tells you!

4. Agape Needs Time To Grow, Mature And Recharge

I’m writing this point after just having spent the last two days ministering to others. It’s ironical that after being blessed and seeing others blessed by the Word and the Spirit, that right now with my body feeling a little worn out, that I need to be most watchful that I walk in Agape towards those around me.

It’s easy to get angry, irritated and depressed when we’re low on energy, tired, stressed out and running on empty. In such a state, we can’t think correctly let alone hear the Holy Spirit (1 John 2:27) Even the prophet Elijah reached a state of physical exhaustion, so that in spite of what he had witnessed at Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18:20-40), he now pleads with God to take him away (1 Kings 19:4).

As Christians we have to come to terms that our bodies need rest. Yes, we will receive heavenly bodies but as long as we are in this mortal flesh, we are going to have to take time to adequately rest, recharge and recoup. Jesus even asked His disciples to take some time off to rest (Mark 6:31) because there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.

But more than spiritual rest, the Christian needs time alone with the Lord; time in the Word and time in His Presence. We know that the love of God has been poured into our hearts (Rom. 5:5) by the Holy Spirit in the New Birth, but unless nurtured in the Spirit (Gal 5:25) and developed in the Word (Rom 12:2), within us as a seed it remains.

So let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart (Gal 6:9). My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18). Let us walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and gave Himself for us (Eph 5:2).

(Vijay Martis is a non-denominational Charismatic Pastor/Teacher, media professional, and co-author of the book ‘Burnt Alive: The Staines and the God They Loved’)